Dry Docked and Rudderless

Dry docked and rudderless. That’s how I would describe most of my time on this blasted rock. Even when I wanted to undergo some great transformative adventure, I’d find excuses not to. I was scared and very unpleasant.

A dear friend and mentor once asked me what it was like to make a coffin nail look soft. And he also convinced me that there were ways to deal with the issues I had that weren’t ‘suck it up and drink it down.’

So, in 2014, I decided to start working on my mental health. Half of my issues are labeled as trauma responses. Turns out that I hid all my negative feelings into the only negative feeling that feels positive - anger. So I was a 30-something ball of hate and anger that just wanted someone to poke the right button. Don’t get me wrong, that anger and hate are still there, just below the surface. But I have developed coping skills to keep it at bay and live what is slowly becoming a normal life.

Thus, I began the journey, which this missive serves as some type of waypoint. I’m a work in progress, as I believe we all are. Somehow, I’ve moved from a dry-docked and rudderless ship to a patched vessel that is seaworthy. And while the brain that pilots this ship hasn’t quite figured out how to read charts, it’s getting better with every day.

Where to from here

The title “Woodchips and Whistles” is a tribute to the two things that I enjoy - working with wood and refereeing sports. I hope to share lessons I’ve learned from spiralling down a dark path with you, as well as finding a way to bring hope and affirmation into your life. There’s gonna be things that hurt, but nothing worth doing has ever been painfree.

I am thankful you’re here with me on this journey, so lets see where we can go from here.